The big End of Book Assignment - take a list of the presidents, in order, and replace each name with a word starting with the same letter (ie: Washington, Adams, Jefferson >> Windows Are Jazzy...) This was submitted by Liam Jankelovics of Chicago on the occasion of his ninth birthday - we think it's GREAT! Now you can remember the presidents in order just by remembering the story of a bridge game gone horribly wrong!
What
Are
Jewish
Men
Madly
Quarelling
About?
Jersey
Vans
Brought
Hooligans
to
Play
the
Four
Person
Bridge.
Lenny
Jacobson
Got
Hattie
Greenberg
a
Chocolate
Herring
Cleverly
Making
Reuben
Teitelbaum
Wonder,
"How
Could
He
Ruin
This
Event!!!"
(Kangaroos
Jumping
Never
Forget).
"Can
Ruthie
Bring
Cinammon
Bagels
Over????"
Showing posts with label assignments. Show all posts
Showing posts with label assignments. Show all posts
Propaganda from Ohio
From Karen Yingling, a librarian at Blendon Middle School. This teacher looks like he'd be THRILLED for you to repeat the past - or repeat his class, anyway. And who can blame him? You're CHARMING!
Blood on the Risers Action Playset!
Mark Johnson of Appleton, WI, has turned in an A+ assignment - a diorama based on the WW2 paratrooper song Blood on the Risers!
The mixed-media diorama is the first such assignment to be turned in - and we imagine it'll be hard to top!
(turned in March, 2010 - this post is back-dated)
The mixed-media diorama is the first such assignment to be turned in - and we imagine it'll be hard to top!
(turned in March, 2010 - this post is back-dated)
Assignment: Presidential Mnemonic
Here's one from Ed Levin for Chapel Hill, NC.
When
a
joking
mad
man
quickly
advances,
just
vanish,
hurrying
to
proceed,
thus
finding
peace.
But
lately,
just
going
hither
goes
against
clear
headwind
coming
menacingly.
Rather,
to
win
handily,
climb
higher,
raise
truth,
endeavor
kindness,
justice
now.
Find
clear
regions
behind
cloudy
bangers
overhead.
When
a
joking
mad
man
quickly
advances,
just
vanish,
hurrying
to
proceed,
thus
finding
peace.
But
lately,
just
going
hither
goes
against
clear
headwind
coming
menacingly.
Rather,
to
win
handily,
climb
higher,
raise
truth,
endeavor
kindness,
justice
now.
Find
clear
regions
behind
cloudy
bangers
overhead.
Propaganda Poster
From a student who "wishes to remain anonymous."
Note from the student: I was gonna put a joker smile on him, like that Obama poster, but I thought I might get in trouble!
Our note back: whoever made the Obama/Joker poster didn't get in trouble - people just said he was a jerk! The first amendment doesn't protect you from being called a jerk, an idiot, or any other unpleasant name. It won't always get you out of trouble in school, either - and this Summers guy COULD respond by giving you a lot MORE homework! So you're right to be cautious - freedom of speech doesn't mean you shouldn't THINK before you speak!
Note from the student: I was gonna put a joker smile on him, like that Obama poster, but I thought I might get in trouble!
Our note back: whoever made the Obama/Joker poster didn't get in trouble - people just said he was a jerk! The first amendment doesn't protect you from being called a jerk, an idiot, or any other unpleasant name. It won't always get you out of trouble in school, either - and this Summers guy COULD respond by giving you a lot MORE homework! So you're right to be cautious - freedom of speech doesn't mean you shouldn't THINK before you speak!
Samuel Prescott Poem from Ben B.
Here's one from Ben B. of Springfield, Nebraska, who is out for the extra credit for using the line "out of the bed and onto the floor / fifty yard dash to the bathroom door!" Yes, we here at the Smart Aleck's Guide are strongly of the opinion that Longfellow's poem (and, therefore, Revere's fame) wouldn't be nearly so enduring if it weren't for the parody version!
Listen my friends and you shall hear
A bunch of garbage I pulled right out of my rear
I must admit I’m not an author or poet
And from what you’re going to read you too shall soon know it…
So sit back and enjoy this gobble-de-gook
Because I write this stuff, my friend writes the book
Twas early one morning on April Nineteenth 1875
When Samuel Prescott made his most famous ride
Who is Sam Prescott you may want to know
He rode with Revere but has no credit to show
He met up with Dawes and the famous Paul Revere
They rode all together to tell the colonists that danger was near
Our trio met up with four British spies
Who caught Paul Revere, but not this Prescott guy
On horseback in darkness our hero Sam ran
And pulled a 180 some dumb British man
And off through the forest he darted and ducked
To warn the townsfolk of Concord they were about to get invaded.
After warning Concord it was off to Acton, Mass.
To tell those who lived their to hurry their brass**
The British were coming and coming up fast
With their guns ready and loaded and ready to clash
Out of the bedroom and onto the floor
A fifty-yard dash to the bathroom door
So was the stunt that Sam’s Brother Abel
Had to run quickly in route to the stable
For Abel you see would take it from here
And Samuel went back to see the folks in Concord kick some rear
Yes Sam went back to see the Brits and colonists fight
Then tended to the wounded with all of his might *
History you see is an awful political game
Sam did the work and Revere got the fame
But now you all know what happened that night
Paul Revere got captured, but Sam Prescott got the colonists ready to fight
So now that you’ve listened to my rambling verses
When folks talk of the great Revere you now know what the truth is
Thanks to Sam Prescott, a true American Hero
And with the rhymes of this poem, he’s no longer a zero.
* Dr. Samuel Prescott was a surgeon and did tend to wounded soldiers after the Battle of Concord and beyond.
Listen my friends and you shall hear
A bunch of garbage I pulled right out of my rear
I must admit I’m not an author or poet
And from what you’re going to read you too shall soon know it…
So sit back and enjoy this gobble-de-gook
Because I write this stuff, my friend writes the book
Twas early one morning on April Nineteenth 1875
When Samuel Prescott made his most famous ride
Who is Sam Prescott you may want to know
He rode with Revere but has no credit to show
He met up with Dawes and the famous Paul Revere
They rode all together to tell the colonists that danger was near
Our trio met up with four British spies
Who caught Paul Revere, but not this Prescott guy
On horseback in darkness our hero Sam ran
And pulled a 180 some dumb British man
And off through the forest he darted and ducked
To warn the townsfolk of Concord they were about to get invaded.
After warning Concord it was off to Acton, Mass.
To tell those who lived their to hurry their brass**
The British were coming and coming up fast
With their guns ready and loaded and ready to clash
Out of the bedroom and onto the floor
A fifty-yard dash to the bathroom door
So was the stunt that Sam’s Brother Abel
Had to run quickly in route to the stable
For Abel you see would take it from here
And Samuel went back to see the folks in Concord kick some rear
Yes Sam went back to see the Brits and colonists fight
Then tended to the wounded with all of his might *
History you see is an awful political game
Sam did the work and Revere got the fame
But now you all know what happened that night
Paul Revere got captured, but Sam Prescott got the colonists ready to fight
So now that you’ve listened to my rambling verses
When folks talk of the great Revere you now know what the truth is
Thanks to Sam Prescott, a true American Hero
And with the rhymes of this poem, he’s no longer a zero.
* Dr. Samuel Prescott was a surgeon and did tend to wounded soldiers after the Battle of Concord and beyond.
ASSIGNMENTS!
The Smart Aleck's Guide to American History includes several assignments. Under "No Reader Left Behind" we have to include these along with several standardized tests, but we're not too picky about #2 pencils. Use a crayon if you feel like it. And chew yourself some gum!
ASSIGNMENTS:
CHAPTER 2:
Write a rambling poem about Prescott or Dawes, the OTHER guys who made midnight rides that night, but failed to become American heroes because their names didn't rhyme with "you shall hear," like Paul Revere's did.
CHAPTER 3:
Most of us agree that "Battle Hymn of the Republic" was a better song than the one it was based on, "John Brown's Body Lies a Mouldering in the Grave," which was one of the solid gold smash hits of the 1850s. Your assignment: write a catchier song about mouldering.
CHAPTER 5:
Just before Charles Guiteau, the assassin of President Garfield, was hanged, he wrote for the occasion entitled "I'm a-Goin' To the Lordy." It was awful. The full text is in the book. Your assignment: using only stuff from this chapter, complete this sentence: "'I'm a-goin' to the Lordy' sucks even more than______"
Some of our suggestions include "being a capitalist at one of Leon Czolgash's dinner parties," "sitting downwind of Taft on three bean casserole day," and "getting Woodrow Wilson's dental bill.
CHAPTER 6:
Make a propaganda poster for your teacher.
CHAPTER 7:
Convince your congressman or senator to back legislation to lower the voting age.
CHAPTER 9:
Make a diorama based on the song "Blood on the Risers"
CHAPTER 11:
In the back of the book, we came up with a mnemonic to remember ALL of the presidents in order by replacing their name with a word that starts with the same letter, forming a more of less coherent paragraph (Washington, Adams, Jefferson, Madison, Monroe, Adams ---> Well, Actually Just My Main Activity.....). Your assignment: come up with a better one!
By turning in your assignments (to the email address on the left), you grant us the right to post them here. Assignments may or may not be posted at the sole discretion of the Smart Aleck Staff.
ASSIGNMENTS:
CHAPTER 2:
Write a rambling poem about Prescott or Dawes, the OTHER guys who made midnight rides that night, but failed to become American heroes because their names didn't rhyme with "you shall hear," like Paul Revere's did.
CHAPTER 3:
Most of us agree that "Battle Hymn of the Republic" was a better song than the one it was based on, "John Brown's Body Lies a Mouldering in the Grave," which was one of the solid gold smash hits of the 1850s. Your assignment: write a catchier song about mouldering.
CHAPTER 5:
Just before Charles Guiteau, the assassin of President Garfield, was hanged, he wrote for the occasion entitled "I'm a-Goin' To the Lordy." It was awful. The full text is in the book. Your assignment: using only stuff from this chapter, complete this sentence: "'I'm a-goin' to the Lordy' sucks even more than______"
Some of our suggestions include "being a capitalist at one of Leon Czolgash's dinner parties," "sitting downwind of Taft on three bean casserole day," and "getting Woodrow Wilson's dental bill.
CHAPTER 6:
Make a propaganda poster for your teacher.
CHAPTER 7:
Convince your congressman or senator to back legislation to lower the voting age.
CHAPTER 9:
Make a diorama based on the song "Blood on the Risers"
CHAPTER 11:
In the back of the book, we came up with a mnemonic to remember ALL of the presidents in order by replacing their name with a word that starts with the same letter, forming a more of less coherent paragraph (Washington, Adams, Jefferson, Madison, Monroe, Adams ---> Well, Actually Just My Main Activity.....). Your assignment: come up with a better one!
By turning in your assignments (to the email address on the left), you grant us the right to post them here. Assignments may or may not be posted at the sole discretion of the Smart Aleck Staff.
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