Here's one from Ben B. of Springfield, Nebraska, who is out for the extra credit for using the line "out of the bed and onto the floor / fifty yard dash to the bathroom door!" Yes, we here at the Smart Aleck's Guide are strongly of the opinion that Longfellow's poem (and, therefore, Revere's fame) wouldn't be nearly so enduring if it weren't for the parody version!
Listen my friends and you shall hear
A bunch of garbage I pulled right out of my rear
I must admit I’m not an author or poet
And from what you’re going to read you too shall soon know it…
So sit back and enjoy this gobble-de-gook
Because I write this stuff, my friend writes the book
Twas early one morning on April Nineteenth 1875
When Samuel Prescott made his most famous ride
Who is Sam Prescott you may want to know
He rode with Revere but has no credit to show
He met up with Dawes and the famous Paul Revere
They rode all together to tell the colonists that danger was near
Our trio met up with four British spies
Who caught Paul Revere, but not this Prescott guy
On horseback in darkness our hero Sam ran
And pulled a 180 some dumb British man
And off through the forest he darted and ducked
To warn the townsfolk of Concord they were about to get invaded.
After warning Concord it was off to Acton, Mass.
To tell those who lived their to hurry their brass**
The British were coming and coming up fast
With their guns ready and loaded and ready to clash
Out of the bedroom and onto the floor
A fifty-yard dash to the bathroom door
So was the stunt that Sam’s Brother Abel
Had to run quickly in route to the stable
For Abel you see would take it from here
And Samuel went back to see the folks in Concord kick some rear
Yes Sam went back to see the Brits and colonists fight
Then tended to the wounded with all of his might *
History you see is an awful political game
Sam did the work and Revere got the fame
But now you all know what happened that night
Paul Revere got captured, but Sam Prescott got the colonists ready to fight
So now that you’ve listened to my rambling verses
When folks talk of the great Revere you now know what the truth is
Thanks to Sam Prescott, a true American Hero
And with the rhymes of this poem, he’s no longer a zero.
* Dr. Samuel Prescott was a surgeon and did tend to wounded soldiers after the Battle of Concord and beyond.
